I came across this parenting article today which discusses the type of parents we are - 'peerant' or parent. Basically, a 'peerant' is someone who is more a friend to their children instead of a parent; someone who can't say no to their children. A 'parent' on the other hand, is someone who can say no to their children and has their own life. The article resonates with me because being a parent these days is a challenging role. We want our children to love us but we also want to ensure they respect us as parents. How do we strike a balance to ensure we have a strong loving relationship with our children where both parties talk to each other and respect each other.
This article was written by Michael Grose, who writes a parenting blog.
1. Struggles to say NO to kids. They give in to kids’ requests too easily or just avoud upsetting them.
2. Avoids discipline. He or she leaves it to their partner, or worse, leaves the hard discipline to their child’s school.
3. Takes on children’s problems as his or her own. They’ll go out of their way to fix thinks or smooth things out for kids.
4. Gives kids too much say for their age or station in life. They let kids rule the roost at home.
5. Wants kids to like him or her all the time.
6. Wears the same types of clothes as their kids.
7. Wants to know everything a child does and feels excluded when a child wants privacy.
8. Is convinced that their child tells them everything!
A parent on the other hand:
1. Somehow finds a way to say no to kids.
2. Discovers their backbone and are willing to be the bad guy to their kids.
3. Works by the principle of he or she who owns a problem solves the problem…..with help.
4. Feels comfortable with authority and uses it wisely…..but also knows they don’t always get things right.
5. Understands that children won’t always like them. In fact, there are times that kids will genuinely detest them or their actions. Love is shown by being willing to act in children’s best interests.
6. Has their own life separate from their children’s lives.
7. Gives kids sufficient space to solve their own problems and have their own relationship.
8. .….doesn’t want to know everything that is going on in their child’s life!
Are you a 'peerant' or parent?