The Season for Giving - Basket Brigade

As a Mum, I always find the lead up to Christmas a challenging time to balance between the commercialism of Christmas by retailers and malls versus the true meaning of Christmas. As my girls grow older, I like them to know that Christmas is not just about the presents they will receive and Santa's lists, but to consider those who may not be able to celebrate Christmas due to the different circumstances. Fortunately, the girls learning early at school about giving as their school organises Christmas hampers and gifts for families in need every year. Each class is allocated a family and families are asked to buy gifts and food items that are appropriate. That's the start of the season of giving for us.

This year, Ashleigh and I did something different. We joined the Basket Brigade (thanks Michaeline for asking) for a half day of packing Christmas hampers in a warehouse located in inner Sydney. The hampers are packed to the brim with food items, Christmas presents and a card. It was a great opportunity to give back. The warehouse was huge and the packing had already started since the morning when we arrived. After registration, we went to pick up an empty box and joined the long line of people. As one moves along the production line, food items are placed into the box. At the end of the line, presents are placed at the top for the families. About 5000 boxes were packed that day for families in need, refugees and the homeless. The food items and presents are sourced from various avenues - some are donated by corporations and employees from various organisations; some are purchased at bulk discounted or cost prices from monetary donations that Basket Brigade have asked for. It warmed my heart to see the number of volunteers who turned out to lend a hand (about 500 people in total); from the young children to seniors. Many hands make light work and everyone was ready to pitch in to do their bit.

Empty boxes waiting to be filled.
Image credit: Michaeline Lee

More boxes
Image credit: Michaeline Lee

Start of the production line (after picking an empty box - Ash on left)

End of production line - boxes are piled with presents and sealed ready for delivery

Contents in the box - pasta sauce, dry pasta, biscuits, rice, tuna, promite (vegemite), baked beans,
jelly crystals, ready to eat sauces, jam, milo, chocolates, chips, noodles, spice mixes

On our way home, Ashleigh and I talked about what we did and how there are many people in the world that have much less than us. I think it gave Ashleigh an insight into how lucky she is. On each of the box, there is a label which tells you some details about the family e.g. F40, F4 and M6 (we thinks it refers to a single mom with two young children); M20, M20, M16, F14, F12, F6 (we assumed a family of children with no parents). Ashleigh wants to return next year and she is planning to rope in her friends too.

We had fun today...it warms my heart to see the number of volunteers who make a difference. The world is not as selfish as its often portrayed in the media.

Breaking up the extra boxes to keep

To learn more about how you can help, check out the Magic Moments Foundation website here.

'Peerant' or Parent

I came across this parenting article today which discusses the type of parents we are - 'peerant' or parent. Basically, a 'peerant' is someone who is more a friend to their children instead of a parent; someone who can't say no to their children. A 'parent' on the other hand, is someone who can say no to their children and has their own life. The article resonates with me because being a parent these days is a challenging role. We want our children to love us but we also want to ensure they respect us as parents. How do we strike a balance to ensure we have a strong loving relationship with our children where both parties talk to each other and respect each other.

This article was written by Michael Grose, who writes a parenting blog.

A ’peerent’:

1. Struggles to say NO to kids. They give in to kids’ requests too easily or just avoud upsetting them.


2. Avoids discipline. He or she leaves it to their partner, or worse, leaves the hard discipline to their child’s school.

3. Takes on children’s problems as his or her own. They’ll go out of their way to fix thinks or smooth things out for kids.

4. Gives kids too much say for their age or station in life. They let kids rule the roost at home.

5. Wants kids to like him or her all the time.

6. Wears the same types of clothes as their kids.

7. Wants to know everything a child does and feels excluded when a child wants privacy.

8. Is convinced that their child tells them everything!


A parent on the other hand:

1. Somehow finds a way to say no to kids.


2. Discovers their backbone and are willing to be the bad guy to their kids.


3. Works by the principle of he or she who owns a problem solves the problem…..with help.


4. Feels comfortable with authority and uses it wisely…..but also knows they don’t always get things right.


5. Understands that children won’t always like them. In fact, there are times that kids will genuinely detest them or their actions. Love is shown by being willing to act in children’s best interests.


6. Has their own life separate from their children’s lives.


7. Gives kids sufficient space to solve their own problems and have their own relationship.


8. .….doesn’t want to know everything that is going on in their child’s life!

Are you a 'peerant' or parent?

Helicopter Parenting

I was blog surfing and came across Dinah's blog about 'Helicopter Parenting'. Helicopter parenting is a description that refers to parents who 'hovers' over their children and tend to make decisions for their child. They became too involved in their children's lives.

To find out if I am a Helicopter Mum, I took the quiz here and scored 16. What does that mean? It means that I have a good balance between being too hands-off and too involved. I need to "Encourage your child to make some easy confidence-building decisions like choosing what to have for dinner, or where to go for a playdate. Giving her a bit of freedom will benefit you both".

This is true, I try very hard to positively encourage my two girls to think and make decisions for themselves, where I know the decisions are simple e.g. what they want to eat for lunch/dinner, order their own food if we're at a cafe, ask for something themselves. But in reality, sometimes I forget to 'sit on my hands' and allow myself to sit back and watch what happens.  I really like them to be assertive and speak for themselves. I realise that I cannot be by my girls side 24 x 7, and therefore need to 'arm' them with skills in order for them to look after themselves. It's work in progress, esp with my older girl. I need to instill greater self-confidence in her.

Are you a Helicoper Mum or Dad?

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior?

A close friend sent me a link to this Wall Street Journal article by Amy Chua, a professor at Yale Law School about why her two girls are successful in life. It's an interesting article and it struck a note with me because I am a Chinese Asian mother who is bringing up her two girls in a Western culture. My parents were not as strict and they did not set the rules like Amy did for her children. As I read the article, I could not help but think about my parenting style. I try to have a good balance, try to guide my girls to be happy and successful, with some pressure to push them along.

Have a read of the article and share your thoughts.